P.S.

Hey guys, I think I forgot to say how Asanda was burned. As most babies are at the age of 13 months, they are curious and get into everything!!! Mpume was boiling water on the stove Asanda pulled it down the front of herself.... So if you have small ones use this as a warning to always make sure handles are turned backwards and the pots are on the back burners!

A Glimpse Into the Life of the Poor...

Tuesday morning I recieved 4 "please call me's" from my friend Mpume, whom many of you have heard me talk about. In SA you dont use your airtime unless you are the one to make the call, so someone can call you and you will not be charged. A "please call me" allows the person to send it for free so that someone may call them back when they do not have airtime. Anyways I called her back and she frantically said "Asanda has been burned". I told her I was on my way. I could tell in her voice that it was serious so I didnt even ask. I sped to the valley where they live and she was standing on the road with a crowd holding the baby across her arms with her chest up waiting for me. Asanda's chest was raw pink, and she had huge blisters all over her chin, neck, and arms. I almost started crying as soon as I saw her but knew I could not as it might scare Mpume even more. When Mpume called I could hear Asanda screaming, but now she was quiet and almost despondant seemingly falling into a state of shock. Mpume obviously has no health coverage as she is quite poor. I did not know where to take her- the Govt hospital was too far so I said we will just go to Hillcrest and I'll pay it, because she needed immediate attention. So we rushed to Hillcrest Hospital and were stopped at the security gate. The gatekeeper was busy talking to someone and I shouted out "We have a burned baby, we need to get it!!" She looked at me as though I just said the grass was green and she had no care in the world. She sauntered to the button and opened it as we sped through (Meanwhile I am having visions of running her over). There are no signs for anything so we stopped and asked where to go. We were pointed to a building in which I parked, ran in and told them what was happening. The nurse then said they do not have an emergency dept and we must go to the Hillcrest Medicross emergency center. (What kind of hospital has no emergency unit I have no idea) So we rushed to another place in which we did recieve great care and the baby was treated for the immediate need and we were referred to the Govt hospital for further treatment. Because of all I have heard about the Govt hospitals- Im sure you can imagine...I asked if there was anywhere else we could go. They referred us to a semi private Hospital in which we would pay an initail 2 or 3 hundred bucks and go from there. They called them to make sure they were capable of taking a case like this and they said yes. So we got back in the car with Asanda now wrapped up and given pain meds. This hospital was about 30 min away and when we got there we had to go through all this red tape and then the docter ended up telling us they werent prepared for a case like this!!! So we had to continue onward further out to the Govt hospital we were supposed to go to in the first place. The whole time I am driving I am holding back tears. Tears for Asanda and Mpume. Tears at how scared Mpume must be, Tears at the pain Asanda is feeling, Tears at the thought she may be permenatly scared form her chin to her chest, Tears because I was thinking "what if I wasnt here?? What would happen? They would have had NO WAY to get anywhere, no money...what would happen? This is not just, this is not Godly. Would this baby just die if I wasnt here to go get them?" It was difficult to be faced with an emergency in a country in which poor people have no transport, no priority, and obviously no money. Then I started thinking about all the people who dont have a friend who drives and has a car...what do they do when there is an emeregency??? How do they even get out of the valley? Or do they? Do they just stay and die? We finally reached the Government hospital and fortunatley for Mpume and Asanda an Mlungu- white person- was with them. Although this is a discusting way that this country works, it was fortunate for Mpume and Asanda that I was there because white people seem to get better treatment which is ridiculous!!!! Also because of history and many things I wont get into, blacks are usually not aware of their rights and are not assertive. I just walked up to a docter bypassing all the lines and said "we have a baby who has been burned, we need to see a docter" and we seemed to get shuffled through quickly as everyone in the lines looked on- most likely cursing me. I thought maybe it was because of the fact that a baby was burned in such a place, but Mpume and others after the fact said no- it was because she was with a white person. So again, what if I wasnt there? Whats if she had somehow managed to get Asanda there by herself she would have been waiting in lines for hours and hours. They didnt tell her much throughot the whole thing- people kept talking to me, She's the mother!! But apperently skin color says more....I was also asking many questions to be kept informed, but otherwise they would not have offered Mpume much information about her child. Eventually we were directed to the childs ward where there is a "burn unit" that is "supposed" to be sterile and free from germs- I wont even get into that....Of course Mpume is not going to leave her baby so she plans on staying at the hospital. She has nothing with her. I got her some food and had to leave about 3:30 to pick up Maxwell- a team member who was at another hospital with his wife, Sli who is having enormous stomach pains and is 7 months pregnant (I dropped them off earlier on the way to the first hospital after Asanda was initially treated) This "burn unit" for Asanda has nothing for parents but a small wooden bench to sit on. No toilet, no comfortable chair, no cot to sleep on. Asanda was the only one in that unit, yet when Mpume took one of the small mattresses form the crib to try to sleep on the floor at night she was yelled at and told if she doesnt follow the rules she can leave. I swear if I was there, their would have been some words. She is not allowed to use the toilet on the 5th floor becasue "she is not a patient" so she has to go all the way down to ground and get a key just to go to the toilet!! There is no where for her to wash or get food. And this is normal for them!! They are used to this kind of treatment and seemingly have no choice but to put up with it, its appalling!! So today I went to visit to bring her a bag, some more food, and I took Sne (Mpume's other daughter) and her cousin so they could visit. When we got there (its not close) The lady at the gate said we couldnt go in b/c its not visiting hrs. I told her we had to because the mom has been there for 3 days with nothing and we need to give her the bag, she kind of sighed and I just walked through. I have another feeling that would not have happened if I wasnt white. So we got up to the ward and on our way into the room the nurse says the kids cant go in there because the room is "sterile" and needs to be kept free of infection. Now I understand this conceprt when there are open wounds. However, NOTHING about the room or how they were operating was sterile. It was like they are trying to fool people into thinking they know what they are doing. The door was kept open for crying out loud and even Mpume was in normal street clothes!! So irritating. So of course me, being me, I put the little "useless" plastic aprons on all of us, get our hands washed and we all sit down right inside the door. Asanda loves her sister and cousin and as soon as she saw them would not stay away. So we sat there and played and chatted until about 30 min later another nurse comes and asks who I am. The problem with having black friends is you cant really pass for family! But I said I was the Auntie anyways, and she said the children cannot be in here and in fact they must wait outside down the hall. Now if were talking about spreading infection, I have no idea why its ok for me to come in but not the kids! So we had to leave, because we were not going to make the kids wait outside and Asanda would have been trying to go out anyways. I was so irritated at the treatment. Mpume was AFRAID to do anything because the nurses would yell at her. Asanda fell and I saw Mpume's face as she looked up to see if the nurse saw it...it was heartbreaking. Asanda is looking better although her chest is still raw and her temp as been up and down. We do not know when she will be discharged. Meanwhile Mpume is there with an impossiblity of sleeping until she gets so tired she sleeps sitting up on a wooden bench, no where to wash, use the toilet, or get food..... Maybe we should give it a little more thought before we compain about the cost of our healthcare...I dont know, but maybe. Please keep Mpume and her kiddos in your prayers, I will keep you posted when Asanda gets discharged.

Faithful God

Two weeks ago at pre-marital counseling I had a small crying spell about needing friends here and a group of people who I can confide in, be challenged and encouraged by, and who can pour into me as much as I can pour into them. It is difficult when there is so much need around you and you are constantly giving and giving without having those who are giving to you as well. We prayed and asked God to provide those friends and those people who Sandile and I would feel comfortable with together...not me walking into HIS friendship group or him walking into mine, but to have people who are our friends as a couple. 6 days later my friend Rachel from Australia told us she wanted to start a Bible study at her place and wanted us to come. Rachel lives with two other Aussie girls and they are all here volunteering. Two of them are dating Zulu guys and their main social and peer groups are with Zulus. So we went to check it out last Wednesday night and it was so amazing to see God moving from the every beginning. We started with Me, Sandile, Rachel, and Muzi (a Zulu guy who is close friends with them all) Rachels roommate Liv was finishing her dinner in the same room but was not planning on staying. We started and opened up the floor by sharing a bit about our lives and walks with God and where we are at this point. It is amazing how when one opens up their heart it draws people in... Liv did not move from where she was sitting until we were finished and she even shared with us where she was at and what she was struggling with. About halfway in Rachels other Roommie Katie came in with her boyfriend Mqo and sat with us as they ate their dinner. We filled them in on what we were doing and welcomed them to stay. They did and they both shared! This is not a group where we are all on the same page with God. Some of us are going strong, some are investigating, some are just discovering God and what it means to live for Christ, and some have not been living for God, but are coming back. I love it. It is challenging, real, and authentic. People have real questions and real struggles and are not afraid to voice them. We are discussing with no judgement and trying to wrestle with the hard things of life and God. Last night we had another friend come to check it out (a Sutu guy)and it was just amazing to see the openess amongst a group of people who do not know each other well, and who are mixed in every way- culturally, gender, race, background, etc...but all being united through Christ. We had an awesome time of prayer at the end that ended in spontaneous singing (another thing I lOVE about Zulu's :)- they dont follow a "program"' when it comes to God! Sandile and I are both excited at what God is doing and how he led all of us together and how he is already -within two weeks- moving in this group of people!! Praise God for his faithfulness!

Setting Captives free

Sani Bonani my friends, I hope this update finds you all well! Well I have been sick to my stomach again for the past three days. I cannot figure out what is going on, as at home I am rarely sick to my stomach! I THINK I am feeling better today, but we will see. I certainly hope so as tomorrow we are having a pool party and BBQ for my birthday :) Much better than spending a birthday inside because its freezing cold and snowing :) Counseling is going well- I actually have 2 clients who feel they are finished because they are feeling so much better and lighter just from being able to talk to someone! Now I would not reccomend that they finish so soon, but I cannot force them to stay. But Praise God they are feeling more positive and no longer being daily rormented by things of the past! One of the ladies accepted Christ this week! She is actually a Shembe- which is a Christian cult that worships ancestors and also believes this Shembe guy is like the messiah- how they still call themselves Christians, who knows. She also has been in the initiation stages to be a Sangoma (witchdocter) so her decison to follow Christ is huge. When Nelly and I prayed for her we could see that God was doing things and were really hoping that none of the demons would manifest as we do not have much experience with that!! But after we prayed she said that people have different powers and she could feel the power in us through the Holy Spirit was different then other powers she had encountered. Praise God!! Well my flat is almost finished- except for the bathroom and kitchenette. I have added some pics here one of me with baby Praise on my back Zulu style :) - thats in my bedroom, and the next picture is in my lounge. This next one is some kiddos in the Valley at Molweni that we meet with every other Thursday! I have discovered that we have an Avacodo tree in our yard!! That makes me excited- I can just go pick one off the tree and eat it :) Sandile has also decided to join me in running and he wants us to do a race!! :) - seriously it was his idea not mine :) So we have been running after he gets home from work- the girls have decided that they like to come with us as well which is aweosome as they really need to be more healthy. It slows us down a bit, but I am impressed with them, and it is fun to encourage them and see them trying to be healthy- I think I am having a positive influence on them :) They are often curious about what I am eating as well and I already have one using milk in her eggs instead of cooking oil :) haha. Well there have also been many challenges as always when working in the ministry on the front lines. It is difficult to encounter such suffereing all the time, and sometimes it is hard to keep positive. Yesterday Maxwell, Elias and I went down to the Valley in Molweni to check on an 8 yr old girl that we saw last week who looks terribly ill. We spoke with the family and the mother agreed to come with us to take her to get tested for HIV. She is positive. Her CD4 count was taken, but we will not get the results for a few days. Judging by the way she looks I am sure it will be very low and she will have to start on ARV'S. I pray her mother gives them to her correctly otherwise they will not work. The child looks completely miserable and it is so sad to see. She doesnt smile, her eyes dont change, she doesnt play....And then there is the question- has she somehow miracuosly survived this far from contracting it at birth, or has she been raped? We will follow up with the family and most likely do more investigating and try to become more involved with her. Keep her and her family inyour prayers. On a side note- when we went down there we spoke with the gogo (Grandma) first,although I could not understand her she is a little spit fire and made me laugh. She looks extremely old, but is still full of life. I found out later she is 102 years!!!! I want to take a picture with her. :)

Makoti living

Sani Bonani! Life is Africa is picking up and I have become quite busy! I spoke in the Valley at Embo twice on abuse and through that 5 or 6 woman have come forward for counseling. All of them have been raped and endured further abuse. Besides those women, I have the three girls in the house, a teen boy, and a younger boy. The ages of those whom I am seeing are 6-60 so it is quite a wide range. Most of them have some fluency in English, but I am working with Nonsi and Nelly who are also on the team who are interpreting for me. It is going well and I am enjoying it although of course there is that feeling and thinking of “’What the heck am I doing, how am I going to help these people, I don’t know anything” I feel that part of this is lies from the enemy, but it also drives me towards prayer as I need much discernment and wisdom working with survivors of sexual abuse, and especially those who are from a different culture and speak a different language! I am going to a Zulu tutor once a week although I do not feel as though my Zulu is increasing so much. It is a frustratingly slow process and even though I am living and working among Zulu speakers I don’t feel like I am picking up as much as I should. I do not understand how people say one must immerse themselves in the language and then you learn it- I am not finding that to be true- at least not yet! Today the house is very quiet- Jabu and Thulani were married on Saturday and they moved out with the children yesterday. It is almost odd being in a house that is totally quiet and semi clean  Surprisingly I had sort of gotten used to the screaming and crying! Haha and honestly I think I will miss those kiddos even though half the time they smelled like poop and 75% of the time they were screaming. I moved into my flat last Thursday. It is not finished yet, but the bedroom is so I have been sleeping there since then. The ceiling for the bathroom and lounge are being put in today and everything besides the kitchen should be finished by the end of the week or early next week!!  I will send photos when it is all done. It is quite nice and I know I am going to love having my own little space. Sandile and I continue to do well and grow in our relationship in daily life. We are currently reading through the five love languages for part of our pre marital counseling and it is providing a good platform for conversation. We are going tonight to Garry and Annette’s for our second session  We usually stop in to see his family once a week and it is always a pleasant time. I am enjoying being a makoti (Zulu bride) spending time and getting to know my future in laws and feel blessed that we seem to be getting along great. Sandile’s sister Phindile is due to have a baby in April so I will officially have a Zulu niece or nephew!  Very exciting! I pray all of you are doing well and as always thank you for your interest, encouragement and support! Sahle Kahle! (Stay Well) Abby

3 Weeks in

Sani Bonani!!! ( Hello all) Wow so much has happened in these last few weeks, I do not even know where to start. Living in this house has been quite hectic. Even as I sit here typing there are three kids under the age of three yelling and crying continuously. In a little bit the three teens will get home from school and the chaos and noise will rise even more. The house is full with 13 people in it right now- as you can imagine living with 13 people would be quite difficult. I am the only white person living in the house, but that is not much of an issue as is the fact that most people staying here are coming from extreme poverty and lack of education. It has been quite the challenge to teach them to clean up after themselves, not to leave food lying out, to change diapers, and give baths, clean properly, and care for the children. They have been here a while, but we (the team) still have to monitor everything they do and remind them constantly to do things and clean up. It is exhausting and I have actually stepped down from this role as it is interfering with what I came here to do, so I will no longer be playing parent and disciplinarian to them. The room that I did have to myself is now also being inhabited by a 40 something yr old women and her 19 yr old daughter so this has made things even more difficult for me personally as now I don’t even have a room to escape to. I definitely need prayers for my sanity and patience!! My flat is coming along, and we are hoping that by the end of next week it will be livable- although probably not totally finished. Next week I am going to start meeting with the girls and the woman who are staying here to start building a therapeutic relationship and get the counseling going. Next Wed and Thursday when we are in the Valley I am going to speak about abuse and healing and encourage those who have been traumatized that God wants to see them healed. Counseling is not the norm in the Zulu culture so it will be a process of introducing it to them and building relationships before I can begin working individually with people. Please continue praying for me in this area. Unfortunately I was robbed at the beach last week and lost my wallet with everything in it, my phone, the car keys, an outfit, and some other things. I was very upset and angry. I felt so violated and helpless. It was not a nice experience and I am still trying to get things sorted out with everything that was stolen- my money, ATM card, credit cards, license as the most important. But that night Sandile and I and some others prayed through it and the Lord led me to forgive them and to bless them in His name. I no longer am furious, although sometimes I get irritated when I think about what is gone and the annoyances that I now have to deal with. I guess I am now initiated fully into South Africa.... On a more positive note things with Sandile and I are GREAT. We are really enjoying spending time together and seeing each other every day. He is such a blessing to me and I feel so lucky. We start pre marital counseling with Garry and Annette Tuesday evening. I am excited for this and we will meet every 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month. I have also started Zulu class!!! Me and another woman on the team are being taught by a Zulu woman who is also a teacher. We meet on Monday afternoons and I am so excited to begin learning and understanding more. It is great also because I am immersed and surrounded by Zulu in the house, so it will help me as I learn formally to be practicing and hearing it spoken daily. Hamba Kahle! (Go well) Abby

Conversations with Dion (age 6)

Sunday I was sick with a stomach ache. I have no idea what it was from but I was in bed all day. There was a party going on in the house because it was Praise’s first birthday. Dion, who is one of the AIDS orphans that Garry and Annette have, periodically, came to visit me in my room. He seemed very concerned that I was sick and wanted to know if I was going to eat. I told him no, because I do not like to eat when my tummy hurts. He said I could have the people come and pray for me and then I can get up and walk like Jesus did. I chuckled and told him that he could pray for me. He says “I don’t know how” I say, “Its easy, you just talk to God” He says “I cant pray like Aunty Annette”I say “its ok” and he replies that he is shy, so I tell him he can pray in Zulu then I will not know what he is saying. Instead he sees Nokuthula- age 15, one of the girls staying in the house, and tells her “woza” (come) and pray for Abby. So she does and Dion stands next to her while she does. A little while later he comes back and I asked him to put something on the other bed. I say “Thank you” and he says “huh”’ so I say it is Zulu, “Ngiyabonga” and he shouts at me saying “Don’t speak Zulu to me, I know English!> It was so cute. He is so precious. There are four young ladies staying at the house at the moment, and one of them with a child, whom I just met today. They are Nokuthula, age 15, Nomi, age 15, Thola, age 18, and Jabu, age 23. They are lovely and we are having a great time getting to know each other through limited communication! They are learning English so we can talk some, but it is limited. There is a woman who is supposedly starting Zulu lessons later this month, so I am going to call her and find out about them. I think it is going to take a lot more than just being able to pick it up by listening! The weather has been quite rainy and not very hot, but extremely humid. Although, the first day I was here was about 90-95 with 100% humidity. Let’s just say I was dripping sweat all day! But it has been rainy and cooler since, although I am still wearing shorts while they are in pants and jackets!Wednesday we will go into the Valley for the weekly service and ministry. After that there will be a team meeting in which I will get a chance to explain to the team why I am here and what my role with be.Soon I will begin going to the valley more often to visit girls and build relationships with th ehelp of some of the Zulu team members. Hopefully in the next week or so I will have a schedule of what my days will look like. I am currently staying in the house although renovations for my room have begun today. It should take about 3 weeks to knock out the walls and expand the place where I will stay as well and re-do the floor, bathroom, and put in a small kitchenette. It will be quite nice and I am looking forward to it being done! I am doing well and having a great time with Sandile! and looking forward to getting busy with things!